So yea, in the battle between light and darkness, darkness is like when I stayed there laying wide eyed and alone. Every pain feels deathly real and the realist calls it "life". And for people like me, I should probably grow up and accept that as the bleak truth that whats painful and makes you fill hollow inside is being rational and it's your guts telling you something. But the Bible and the Quran did forewarned you that when things are tough, the Devil will be your best friend, pulling you deeper into sorrows and hopelessness.
Then I forced myself to snap out of it. Focusing on every single ounce of happy energy I have in me I thought is this really me thinking it's the end? Or there's someone whispering doubts in my ear? Now that freaked me out BIG time. Man, got me saying my Doas out loud. Was scary the thought of having Mr. Devil so close to me. Just that he has always been depicted ugly and scary but he is a fallen angel, and he was the most beautiful before us humans existed. God is in the times you love and you cherish and pray for the best. God is in the best of His creations. Mr. Devil is good at this game since his been playing this battle since the dawn of time, he knows the perfect time and the perfect opponent. He wouldn't choose to mess with us if he didn't think we are worth it. Bonds of love and trust is the most treasured in heaven and he knows if we break, it's another win. I should hold on, trust in love and in God because He wouldn't give me this time in my life if it's not something worthwhile. I believe we can work if we try, if only my other half believes it too :((.
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